Hijackalope the band plays Iraqi music from Iraq
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Band Members

Osama So Huggable- The longest tenured band member despite losing both arms and his genitalia to a land mine not long after this photo was taken. A former Bathtist party member, now currently retrained as a Starbucks barista. "I have no idea what this moccachino thing is but if I don't make one I'm dead. Praise Allah that I have had no customers yet," Osama moans. As vocalist and lead tamborine player, Osama So Huggable is the ladies favorite: "I got flashed during the show in Tikrit. I totally saw her ankle!" Osama So Huggable

Phillip Geehawd Phillip GeeHawd- Second longest member with the band at three weeks. Phillip plays lead guitar and the jews harp (renamed Death-to-Western-Infidels whistle). Phillip describes the music making progress: "It is horrible. They give us American junk food and lock us in a bunker until we record something. Then they beat us with rolled up copies of Lowrider magazine if it doesn't sound 'American' enough. The constant shelling makes me nervous; I haven't had a good bowel movement in weeks."

MC Rashasha- A new recruit for the Hijackalope Team MC Rashasha quickly moved to the top of the electronic music scene in early 1994 with his smash-out hit "OK, So I'm not a REAL Iraqi." Though his artistic pursuits have often been interrupted by the call to guard royal palaces (his knowledge of unusual weapons is revered far and wide), he's happy to be serving as Programmer/Vocalist for Hijackalope. "Beats working at Payless Shoes. I hate that place," says Rashasha. MC Rashasha

Naib Ali Naib Ali Hasan Hamid Khalifa Al-Tikriti Ramone- Former goat herder and the band's current bass player replacing Ra'id Muhammad, who ironically was fed to Ali Ramone's goats. Ramone's take on joining the hottest band in Baghdad: "I just want to go home and oppress my wives. This is very dangerous."

Tammy Aziz- Finger cymble player and granddaughter to "Mis"-Information Minister Tariq Aziz. "I have brought great shame to my family. I will most likely be stoned to death. Other than that it's been a blast," Tammy lamments. At time of publication Tammy is unaccounted for. Tammy Aziz

Dorrito Apple Pie Dorrito Apple Pie McDonald- Drummer. "Maybe we wouldn't lose so many band members if our practice site wasn't so heavily mined. But those damn British troops keep stealing all our equipment. I am down to one stick, a kettle and a camel skull." Way to go Dorrito, keep on truckin'!

Jhadgi John Paul Jones- Unofficial roadie. Phillip G-hawd says, "Basically it's this kid that follows us around. We give him a Baby Ruth and an AK to guard our stuff. He's a pretty good shot despite having rickets." Jhagi John Paul

Normal Al Normal Al Ivanovich- Manager and defacto despot. Says Normal Al, "These monkeys wouldn't know how to throw their own shit if it wasn't for me. It was my idea to sample audio from Nick at Nite via ham radio because not a one of them can speak a lick of English." Normal Al keeps a regimented recording schedule. "Hey, the meth and coke keep me awake and the battery charger wired to their testicles does the same for them. It works for us both." Normal Al's hobbies include furniture repair and beastiality.

Billy the Mosh Goat- Pretty much what it says. Normal Al gets Billy the goat coked up and unleashes it on the mosh pit at the shows. "Sometimes he only eats organic things, some times he doesn't." Mosh Goat

The CIA has classified the names of previous members. Due to small weapons fire, anti personnel mines and syphilis it is reported that Hijackalope has lost close to 120 members. That numbered is neither denied nor confirmed.

About the Music: If it sounds a little hodge-podgy it's because of the band's high turnover rate. In an unconfirmed report, a suicide bomber destroyed all but one original member (Osama so Huggable survived). He reportedly joined the band as an accordian player but when requested to play "Roll out the Barrel" the bomber promptly went off. It was a terrible tragedy honored in the song, "Weiner Dog with a Boner."

"Whammy" is a scathing rant against the US oil embargo of the 90's. "Rape Me Elmo" is a story of the Iraqi national soccer team's triumph over adversity. Hijackalope also honors the passing of the great Elvis Costello in the song "They Creep." (They're just getting ready just in case) "Why, Grandma, Why?" is a parody of cold war propaganda. (How they know about that is really beyond current knowledge). "Darin's making Hash" is about a women's right to choose and also about the cola wars.

What the hell is this? (Again, if you missed it on your way in)

On October 16th, 2003, the CIA under instruction from the White House allocated 13 million dollars from a Halliburton slush fund for Iraqi music reconstruction. Secret tapes recently unearthed show President Bush and Vice President Cheney discussing the matter. Cheney is quoted as saying, "It should sound like Patsy Cline." Bush then responds, "It should sound like Queensryche." They then decide that, "It should sound like a cross between Patsy Cline and Queensryche." Also they agree that all reconstruction musicians should be from Iraq. "We cannot afford to lose Toby Keith," states President Bush. It is then decided to name the operation "Hijackalope" in honor of VP Cheney's version of snipe hunting, which usually ends with the Secret Services having to lead President Bush back to the hunting cabin in the dark.

The CIA scoured its ranks for qualified individuals to head the operation. None were found to "rock hard enough." Using the "Nepotism Act of 2000," (the same act that elected Michael Powell to the head of the FCC, and George W. Bush president) "Weird" Al Jankovic's cousin, "Normal" Al Ivanovich, was chosen to be the band's manager. "Normal Al" was serving as a janitorial specialist at Ellsworth Air Force Base in South Dakota, spending most of his time shooting rats in abandoned missle silos and huffing jet fuel. "Normal Al" was given 3 million dollars, a swiss army knife, and an assortment of lotions from Bed, Bath and Beyond and was dropped from a C-47 over Iraq.

"Recruitment" began immediately. With the Army's resources, potential musicians were rounded up and imprisoned. Despite sporadic mortar fire and subsequent kidnappings and beheadings of band members, Hijackalope played it's first show, Jan. 18th at the Casbah in downtown Fulugia. The show was a success with only a 33% casualty rate. The album, "Weapons of Mass Confusion" skyrocketed up the Billboard Top 7. From all gathered CIA intelligence Hijackalope, "seems to be popular with people who have radios."

Thus, Hijackalope continues to perform under their slogan, "I-rawk for the people," and hopes that visitors to this website enjoy their music as its creation cost many their lives.


Hijackalope is on
thumptruck records